Looking Inward and Some Cool Comic News - Chris Ullrich dot net

Looking Inward and Some Cool Comic News


First, a little business. As some of you may know I have started writing more for other people at other sites. And, not only that, I have started writing a weekly Mac column at LAist called “Ask the MACist”. Plus, various other articles for various other places. Consequently, this particular blog has suffered from lack of attention. I have no excuse other than writing every day when people actually expect you to deliver on a deadline or they won’t pay you is harder than I thought. Not harder because I can’t do it but harder because of the expectations of others.

It’s been some time since I had to write in more of a journalistic style or do more feature-type articles. Normally, I just ramble on here for a few paragraphs and call it a day. Writing here and in the first person seems somehow easier or something. Or, its probably more that writing here, while very important to me, doesn’t carry with it the added pressure of readership or pay. When you throw readership and money into the mix, people expect results.

They expect you to be really good and for people to not only read what you write but to actually like it or at least, in some way, react to it. If your work brings new readers and keeps them coming back because they, for some reason, like what you say and how you say it, that is a huge added bonus (for them but not necessarily for you as then you have to try to be even better next time to continue the trend).

At this site, I am my own boss and basically write here because I have a compulsion to do so, not because I expect anyone to read, understand or care. Writing is really some kind of sickness that drives people to do it all the time or they will explode. I have to write because I have to get this stuff out of me. So, in that way and by writing here, I am less burdened by the pressure to be entertaining or even good. That is not to say that I don’t care. I do. But there is a certain thing that happens to people, at least to me, when someone is expecting you to perform in order to get paid. For me, it becomes more work and I tend to be far more critical of what I write in those circumstances than I am for things here.

I want things to be good here and I want people to read this and like it or hate it or ion some way react, but don’t expect them to. But I can’t say for sure if anyone is even reading this stuff. So, there is less pressure to be good or entertaining. Perhaps I’m just lazy at heart and only care if I’m getting paid to care. In some ways that might make me a whore except that in most cases, if not all, the whore is only pretending to care and doesn’t actually, really, give a crap. That’s the difference, I guess. In this case, I’m the whore with a heart of gold and I care. Really. Now give me fifty bucks. Don’t look at me, I earned it!

You have to love a place where the author refers to themselves as a whore. But really, when I think about it more, I have been a whore many times in my life. For example, almost every time I ever did a movie or a music video or a commercial that I didn’t believe in. I only did it for the money in those cases but also in those cases I did care about how it all turned out. I wanted the results to be good and worked very hard to make sure that they were. it didn’t always work out but it wasn’t because I didn’t care or didn’t try, there were other factors that influenced the outcome. It wasn’t me. I was in there swinging for the fences but the fences kept getting moved farther and farther away.

What does any of this mean to you? Well friends (yes you, you and you) here’s where I pull it all together. In your life, it’s ok to not be great sometimes and its even ok to fail once in awhile. As long as you can go home knowing that you tried to do your best, you’re still a winner. And, its ok to be a whore too sometimes. We are all like that once in awhile. You haven’t sold out as long as you keep fighting for quality. If you ever stop fighting to make things better, even when nobody else gives a crap, then its over and you are just a whore who’s faking it. And faking it is not good. Unless you’re the President of the United States. In that case, its all good.

On another front, somebody put together a list of the best comic book covers of 2006.I think that’s kinda cool. I know the year isn’t over yet but what the hell. Check it out here. Plus, I thought the picture was somewhat appropriate to the above diatribe. That’s it. Stay classy San Diego (or LA or New York or London or wherever you are).

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