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A First Father’s Day

Father's Day

My father passed away several years ago and since that time I haven’t given as much thought to Father’s Day. On the day I do think about my father more than I normally do, but as he isn’t with me, I honor him in ways that don’t involve brunch or unattractive neckwear. I don’t think he would mind.

However, things are a bit different on this particular Father’s Day. What’s different? Well, in a nutshell, this is my first Father’s Day as a father. Yep.

Okay, in truth, my child hasn’t actually been born yet, but I think that’s a technicality. He’s in there cooking away, doing great and is due to arrive in early September. That is, if he stays on schedule.

Since he is my son, I know his sense of timing will be impeccable and I expect he will arrive exactly when he means to and not a second too soon, or too late. Just like his father. He also has my good looks, of course.

So, this Father’s Day is quite a bit more special than it normally would be. That’s not to take anything away from my own father. He was a complex guy who taught me a lot of things, not the least of which was to question everything and always strive to better myself. He was also one of the first people to believe in me, much like my mother, and for that I will always be grateful.

I wish my father and my son could meet, but they never will. All I can do is make sure he knows about his Grandfather and how much his hard work and wisdom meant to me over the years. My son will know. I’ll make sure of it.

But this particular post isn’t about the past. It’s about the future.

It’s about a future where I will, after long last, be a father. A future where I will experience the world through the eyes of someone to whom it’s all brand new.

I know it won’t be easy and I know it’s a huge responsibility. I also know it’s going to be one hell of a ride.

And I can’t wait for it to start.

Trouble Sleeping? It Could Be Your Gadgets

gadgets

How are you sleeping? Do you have trouble? It could be your gadgets.

In truth, I don’t know if anything from the handy infographic below applies to me or not. I do know I frequently use my iPhone, or one of my other gadgets, in bed right before I try to fall asleep.

I also know that I used to be able to sleep very well and make it all the way through the night with no problem. Now, not so much. In fact, these days, I occasionally suffer from insomnia and can’t sleep much at all.

So I have to wonder, is it my gadgets? Maybe so. To find out, I’m going to try a little experiment.

For the next few weeks I’m going to make a conscious effort not to look at my iPhone, laptop or other backlit gadget in the hour or so before I try to fall asleep. That also means I’m going to have to switch back to the older Kindle, without the backlight, if I want to read any books. Or, I guess I could just read an actual book. That would probably work too.

It may be difficult at first, but I think I’m up to the challenge. I’ll let you know how it goes. Now, where did I put my glasses?

sleep-gadgets-1

Awake

Proof of life. November 3, 2012.

Awake.

A Few Words About Loss

I don’t want this post to turn into anything overly maudlin or depressing, but given recent events, I just wanted to say a few words about loss. I will try not to kill your buzz too much.

For the most part, I’ve been very fortunate in my life. I almost always get to work with great people, have a lot of good friends and caring people in my life, work on interesting and fun projects and generally speaking, up until recently, I’ve never had to experience any type of loss of a family member, friend or other generally catastrophic event.

Then, a few years ago, my father died.

A month later, one of my best fiends since childhood died. Then, I got divorced and had to completely change my living arrangements, how I viewed and lived my life and my feelings about the future. Two months ago my favorite Aunt died followed, this week, by my favorite Uncle.

But wait, there’s more. During the time my father was ill and around the time my childhood best friend died, I also had a brief period where I thought I was sick. This is something almost nobody knows.

In the end, it turned out to be nothing. But let me tell you, the time between when you first discover something and the Doctor tells you it’s nothing can seem like a fucking eternity.

I don’t recommend it.

My Uncle dying this week has brought to the surface a lot of feelings about death and loss. The sad fact is we’re all going to die someday. I hope for all of us that day is a long, long, long time from now. However, we just don’t really know.

This time two days ago my Uncle was planning a vacation with his family. He had gotten a diagnosis of Leukemia last year but it had responded to treatment and he was doing well. Then, he got sick. At first, it seemed like a cold but it got progressively worse. 48 hours later he was gone.

This is the part where I roll out the chestnuts and tell you that every moment of life is important. I don’t care if countless people have said it before, and better. Doesn’t make it any less important.

So, for those of you who still need to hear it (and the rest of you who think you don’t) here it is:

Make the most out of life because you never know how long you, or your loved ones, have. In other words, life is short. Get it? Good.

I know I promised not to be overly maudlin or depressing, so I’m trying to end on a high note. The good news is most of us will have a lot of years to live our lives to the fullest and every day is a new chance to do something great and wonderful for yourself, for others and to live your life to the fullest. Take that chance and run with it.

See, that wasn’t so bad.

Obligatory “Best of 2011” Post

Even though I try to stop myself, I’m still a slave to some conventions. One such convention is the “Best Of” lists that invariably crop up at the end of the year.

Of course, I bowed to convention and did one. It was published over at The Flickcast. However, because I like to help and I like you, I’ve included it below as well.

No need to thank me.

As is the usual practice almost anywhere were column inches or post counts matter, writers such as myself take to their keyboards and make lists. I am no exception and, with a great deal of difficulty and toil, have managed to cobble together a list of what I think are some of the best things of 2011.

I don’t really want to bore you with a lot of explanations as to why I picked what I did. Suffice it to say these picks are mine and mine alone. Also, they are not in any particular order, mostly because I find it hard to rank them that closely. Or, I was just too lazy.

Either way, here you go.

Movies

Drive
The Artist
Attack the Block
X-Men: First Class
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
The Descendants
Thunder Soul
13 Assassins
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2
Hugo

TV

Game of Thrones
Fringe
Community
Homeland
Breaking Bad
Justified
Sons of Anarchy
Archer
Happy Endings
Boardwalk Empire

Games, Gadgets, Software, iOS Apps, etc.

Apple iPhone 4S
Apple iPad 2
Apple iOS 5
Wordpress
Final Draft
iA Writer
Batman: Arkham City
Cal of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
Saints Row: The Third
Forza Motorsport 4

Comics

Detective Comics Batman (DC)
Justice League (DC)
Green Lantern (DC)
Irredeemable (BOOM! Studios)
Daredevil (Marvel)
Criminal: Last of the Innocents (Icon / Marvel)

Resolutions: Another Viewpoint

In a previous post, I expressed my desire to make at least one resolution to end 2011. Sounded like a good idea a the time.

However, there’s also this:

Resolutions  candh

I’ll leave it to you to decide which one is more appropriate.

See you in 2012.

Resolutions, Smesalutions

NewYearsEveClock

As most of you are probably aware (unless you live somewhere that doesn’t reckon the calendar as we do here in the States) we are almost at the end of 2011 and will be well into 2012 by this time next week. Why am I bringing up the obvious?

I’m doing it because this is a perfect time to talk about resolutions. You know, those things that people always make at the end of the year and never keep? I’m talking about them.

I don’t make them. Haven’t in the past anyway. However, this time I think I’m going to make an exception. I’m going to make at least one.

What is this amazing resolution that will cause me to re-think my entire philosophy on resolutions? Glad you asked.

I am going to make a resolution to get more fun out of life. I know this might seem like an obvious one but I’ve realized over the last few years I’ve had less and less fun.

So, I’m going to change that — starting now. I hope you will all join me and get more fun out of life in 2012 too. I’m sure we could all use it.

Happy New Year and all the best for a healthy, happy and prosperous (and fun!) 2012.

Convergence and Balance

Man looking out window

I’ve often mentioned here that I seem to have my feet in two different worlds. There’s the world where I go forth and make money to buy the things I think I need, to pay my bills and to save for the child I don’t have yet’s college education.

There’s also the world where I fulfill my creative needs by writing or expressing myself in other ways. I also call this the “real work” world. If you’re a writer, you know what I’m talking about.

Most of the time those two worlds do not converge.

With 2011 winding down and with me being another year older (and presumably wiser), it’s occurred to me that I need to make those two worlds converge more frequently. In other words, how can I make more money doing that which creatively satisfies me?

I realize this is quite the dilemma for so early in the morning (I’m writing this at around 6AM Pacific time) but these are precisely the times when you tend to think about these types of weighty issues. I can’t help it, the thoughts just come to me and they need to be addressed — sleep or other considerations be dammed.

Returning to my point, I need to figure out a way (or ways) to make money doing what I love. I’m sure people out there must have faced a similar situation, so if you’re reading this and feeling inclined to help, chime on in.

Until help comes from unexpected but welcome corners of the Internets, I’ve gone ahead and formulated a plan on my own. Or, at least I’ve got an interim plan until something better comes to mind.

In truth, my plan is relatively simple as it involves doing pretty much what I already do and how I do it. The main difference is in how I will allocate my time during the day and what I will focus on.

For example, under this new plan I will now spend as much time writing something (a short story, script, blog post, etc.) as I do on the Internet. I include time spent on Facebook, Twitter, etc. in that as well. I also do this in hopes of reducing the time I spend reading Twitter, on Facebook or reading mindless blog posts.

Going along with that will be an attempt to “reduce the clutter” of my online information stream. In other words, I will visit fewer sites less frequently and try only to read those sites that feature what I consider to be “good” writing and not attention grabbing link bait disguised as writing.

I will also schedule my day better. I will allocate blocks of time to tasks and only do those tasks during that specific time. Of course, this will have to be somewhat flexible to allow for creative bursts of energy and inspiration so if I’m “on a roll” I don’t have to cut it off to fit a particular schedule.

Going along with that I will also have a definitive cutoff to the day when I won’t, for example, answer emails from clients or deal with other matters that don’t have anything to do with the creative world.

I think the term I’m looking for here is balance. Although, that may not be exactly applicable in this case. I’m not looking for balance, per se, I’m actually looking for a way to spend the vast majority of my time in that second, creative, world.

The best case is that those two worlds converge completely and I spend all of my work time doing those things which make me the happiest. If I could make a few bucks in the process, all the better.

Obviously, I’m still working on the full plan, but I feel pretty good about it so far. At least I’ve mostly identified the problem and are taking some steps to remedy it.

I know I can do better and I know this plan will evolve over time like any good one should. Stay tuned to see how the goes.

But until then, this is what I’ve got. And really, what did you expect at 6AM?

Note – I’m not sure what the pic above has to do with this particular topic. I just like it, okay?

Christmas 2011

Yes, it’s Christmas. . . at least for those of us who celebrate it. If you don’t, have a great Sunday. For the rest of us: Merry Christmas! I hope you got everything you wanted and only a little bit of what you deserve.

Christmas Birthday 101

The holidays are upon us in earnest and Christmas is coming this Sunday. I’m also having a birthday this week too. In fact, it’s tomorrow (Thursday).

Before you feel too bad for me and express sympathies that my birthday must get forgotten due to its proximity to Christmas, I will make you feel better by telling you that in all the time I’ve been alive, I’ve never felt bad about having a birthday three days before Christmas.

There’s one reason for that (well, two). Harold and Dorothy. My parents.

My parents came into my life sorta late in theirs. They tried for several years to have a kid the old fashioned way, but in the end, for whatever reason, they were unsucessful. So, like countless others who wanted a child, but just couldn’t make it happen, they turned to adoption.

That’s where I came into the picture. My parents adopted me, sealed the deal in late November, I was born on December 22 and they brought me home to live with them on Christmas day.

Since that time, my parents, being the intelligent and thoughtful people they are, went to great effort to distinguish my birthday from Christmas. It was always considered a seperate day and talk of Christmas was put aside until it was over.

Sure, the house usually already had Christmas lights and decorations up (my father was like that), but that was not allowed to detract from my birthday. If my party was at the house, we celebrated in a room away from the tree and as much of the rest of the Christmas-centric decor as we could manage.

They were also really great at making sure I had separate birthday and Christmas gifts each year. My mom still does that to this day.

I have no doubt that when I see her this weekend she will make me open my birthday presents first and then make me wait for the Christmas presents until a respectable amount of time has passed. Somewhat of a traditionalist is Dorothy. If my dad were still alive, I’m sure he’d insist on the same thing.

The purpose of this missive is to say that I’ve been very fortunate to have these two people in my life. Whatever happened, they always put me first and made sure I never needed or wanted for anything.

I could not have asked for better people to show me the whys and wherefores of life. I just hope, if I ever have children of my own, I can do half as good a job as they did.

It’s a tough act to follow.